Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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