Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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