it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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