i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize