The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
