My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
