I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
