My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
