some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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