Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
