You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
