i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize