Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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