Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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