have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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