we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
