Already got asked if we're dating
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
