I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
