I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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