I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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