You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
