God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
