Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
