An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we're making bets on your personal life
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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