this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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