Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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