Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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