I can text with my tongue
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
PANTIES FOUND
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