yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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