Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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