A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
