I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize