If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I need moral support for this bender
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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