I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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