What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
