Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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