Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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