the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
