You can't motorboat a personality
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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