2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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