This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
