You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
why do cheetos always look like penises
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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