it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The convent might be a nice break from real life
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
