Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize