You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize