But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
