Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
