Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
