...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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