I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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