Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
