I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
