Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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