dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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