Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
