Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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